Looking back to last weekend, it was a busy and highly successful few days for sport at Merchiston. From the Athletics Primary Cross-Country Championships through to outstanding performances on the cricket pitch, there was much to be proud of.
The 1st XI, 2nd XI, U15As and U14As all secured convincing wins against Strathallan. A particular highlight came from the 1st XI, where ten of the eleven starting players have progressed through the school system, having previously represented the Pringle 1st XI. With three debutants stepping up and contributing strongly, it was a proud moment for the programme and a reflection of the strength of our player pathway.
The weekend concluded with a triangular fixture against Sedbergh Prep and Cargilfield, where there was some excellent cricket on display, alongside valuable learning and development across the group.
Over the past week, I have continued to reflect on the idea of relationships — not simply that they matter, but on the quality of the relationships we create and sustain. In doing so, I have been spending time with the work of Terry Real, whose thinking on connection and what he describes as “relational living” offers a compelling challenge to many of our assumptions.
One idea, in particular, has stayed with me: There is no redeeming value in harshness.
It is a striking line and one that invites us to pause. Because while firmness, clarity and high expectations are essential, harshness adds nothing. In fact, it often undermines the very things we are trying to build. What matters, instead, is what Real describes as loving firmness — the ability to hold high standards, to challenge when needed, but to do so in a way that is grounded in care, respect and the sense that we are on one another’s side.
In a school context, this matters deeply. Because culture is not built through policies or statements alone, but through the tone of everyday interactions — how we speak, how
we respond, and how we show up for one another in moments both big and small. If we want to create a community in which pupils feel safe, supported and able to thrive, then we must be intentional about the kind of environment we are shaping.
On Monday, we once again welcomed an international agent to the school, providing an opportunity to share our pupil experience and approach. A question that often arises in these conversations — and one that was posed again this week — is what we mean by outstanding pastoral care, a phrase that appears on almost every school website.
It was a privilege to reflect on what this means in the context of Merchiston. For us, it is not defined by systems or statements alone, but by a deep commitment to knowing and noticing each individual pupil — understanding who they are, how they learn and what they need in order to thrive.
It is about building a learning journey around the individual, rather than expecting the individual to fit a predefined path. And, perhaps most importantly, it is about equipping young people with the tools they need to navigate both challenge and success — fostering a sense of agency, celebrating their capability and believing in their capacity for growth. In many ways, this sits at the heart of a relational culture.
Also on Monday afternoon, a group of our pupils were invited to the University of Edinburgh for a truly special experience — the opportunity to meet Deng Yaping, one of the most decorated athletes in Olympic history. Dr Deng shared her remarkable journey from early rejection to four Olympic gold medals and eighteen world championship titles, offering powerful reflections on resilience, high performance and the role of sport in fostering international understanding. It was a privilege for our pupils to engage with her directly, gaining insight not only into elite performance, but into the mindset and character required to overcome challenge and succeed at the highest level.
On Tuesday, the school gathered for Whole School Assembly, and I am very grateful to Mr Rowlands for leading the occasion in my absence. It was a pleasure to recognise and celebrate a number of pupils who have achieved success in their music examinations, receiving their Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music awards — a testament to their commitment, discipline and continued progress.
The assembly also included a pupil-led presentation reflecting on the recent Easter trip to China. The boys shared vivid insights from their time in Chongqing — a mountainous city that seems to defy conventional ideas of urban planning and is rightly known as the “Bridge Capital” of China — before moving on to their experiences in Shanghai.
Highlights included time spent at Fudan University, city exploration, a river cruise and an acrobatic performance, all of which contributed to what was clearly a hugely memorable and enriching experience.
On the academic front, Lower Sixth mock examinations are now underway. These represent a significant learning opportunity, allowing pupils to develop not only their knowledge, but their approach to revision, exam technique and their response to feedback. For many, this process serves as a springboard for future learning and attainment, helping to inform subject choices and pathways as they move into Upper Sixth.
Alongside this, the external examination season is now entering its second week. While the timetable builds gradually, there is already a clear sense of purpose and focus among pupils, particularly in Fifth Form and Upper Sixth.
The Golf Academy has enjoyed some excellent success. Our U15s travelled to Powfoot Golf Club in Dumfries and Galloway to compete in a Swifts strokeplay tournament, facing strong opposition from leading schools across the UK. The team performed superbly, securing the individual title and finishing as runners-up by the narrowest of margins. It was a strong collective performance across the two days, with all players contributing. This result sees the Golf Academy move up to third in the UK Schools Rankings ahead of the National Finals next month — a fantastic achievement.
On Wednesday, two of our Upper Sixth pupils represented the school in the annual Wayfarers match at Bruntsfield Golf Society — a long-standing fixture that brings together current and former players from independent schools across Edinburgh. Now in its 93rd year, this event provides a unique opportunity to strengthen connections across generations and to celebrate the enduring relationships within our community.
It was particularly pleasing to receive the following message after the match: “I had a most pleasant game of golf with two of your pupils, both currently studying hard for their A Levels. They were delightful companions and team-mates on the course, and both were great ambassadorsfor the school. I wish them every successin their futures.”
Feedback such as this speaks not to performance, but to character — and to the values our pupils carry with them beyond the school gates.
Also on Wednesday, our Third Form geographers travelled to Dunbar to study coastal processes. The trip provided pupils with the opportunity to see firsthand the impact of a recent storm and the defences now in place, reinforcing their classroom learning while highlighting the real-world implications of climate change and the growing importance of careers in areas such as geoengineering.
On Wednesday evening, I spent time in New York City with a group of New York-based Merchistonians who had left the school between 1978 and 2012. It was a truly special evening. What stood out most was not simply their reflections on school, though these
were warm and generous, but the way in which they connected with one another. Some were meeting for the first time, and yet there was an immediate ease — a shared understanding rooted in a common experience.
There was something quietly powerful in stepping back and observing those conversations unfold. Different generations, different paths, and yet a clear sense of connection — a shared story that continues to bind them. What was equally striking, however, was the nature of the conversation. Again and again, the same question surfaced: how can we help? How can they support the school, and how can they contribute to the continued strength of the community?
This determination to give back — to serve a community that, for some, they left many years ago — is a common thread when meeting our alumni. It reflects a lasting sense of belonging, and a recognition that being part of a community brings with it both privilege and responsibility.
On Thursday, Mr Thompson spoke at Middle Years Assembly, offering pupils a clear and accessible overview of the upcoming Scottish Parliament elections. He outlined how the electoral process works and explored some of the key issues facing the major parties. For our pupils, several of whom will vote for the first time, this was a timely and valuable opportunity to deepen their understanding of civic responsibility and democratic engagement.
Later that evening, the 1st XI travelled to face the University of St Andrews in what proved to be a highly competitive and enjoyable fixture. While the result went in favour of the university side, the match marked the beginning of what we hope will become a strong and enduring partnership. It was an excellent experience for our pupils and an opportunity to strengthen links with one of the country’s leading universities.
Returning to Terry Real’s work, another idea that has stayed with me this week is his perspective on how we communicate when something is not quite right. He suggests that, while we are often quick to notice what is wrong, we do not always pause to consider what sits beneath that instinct.
Within every concern or complaint, there is an underlying request. I have found myself reflecting on this in my own day-to-day interactions — recognising how easy it is to default to what is not working, rather than articulating what might help move things forward. It is something I recognise I do not always get right, but am increasingly trying
to be more conscious of. Rather than leading with what is wrong, we can choose to express what we need, what we hope for, or what would help. It is a subtle shift, but one that can significantly change both the tone and the impact of what we say. In many ways, this sits alongside the idea of loving firmness — allowing us to remain clear and honest, while ensuring that our words are constructive, purposeful and grounded in respect.
As we look ahead, what remains clear is that the culture we build — through our relationships, our expectations and the way we choose to treat one another — shapes far more than immediate outcomes. It shapes people. Whether in classrooms, on the pitch, or in conversations across generations and continents, it is the small, consistent acts of kindness, respect and shared purpose that endure.
I was reminded of this during my time in New York City, a city often defined by its pace, yet one where I encountered such warmth and generosity in the everyday. It brought to mind the words of Walt Whitman, who wrote:“Be curious, not judgmental.” A simple idea, but one that sits at the heart of relational living — to seek to understand and to always remain open.
I wish all members of our community a restful and enjoyable weekend.
Best Wishes,
Huw
