Moving to a new school often brings a mix of emotions; excitement, curiosity, doubt, and anxiety are all common feelings for both students and parents in the lead up to transitioning from one school to another. 

While the prospect of saying goodbye to familiar faces may feel daunting, focusing on the fresh opportunities, friendships and experiences a new school offers can help students embrace this next step in their academic journey.  

We spoke to Danny Rowlands, Deputy Head (Wellbeing) here at Merchiston, about how families can best navigate this process and support young people to make a positive and confident transition to their new school.

What can families do in the lead up to the move to make the process easier?

Mr Rowlands: The key thing is to share as much information as possible with the school and to be completely open and honest. Sometimes, parents can worry that sharing certain details might in some way jeopardise their child’s position in the school, particularly if it relates to health issues, Support for Learning or behavioural matters. Ensuring that the school is fully informed will smooth the path and ensure their child is supported in the right way from the very first day. Equally, we want to know what a new pupil really enjoys, what his interests are, what is important to him, and what he needs to feel safe and comfortable. 

What tends to be the biggest concern for parents whose child is joining a new school?

Mr Rowlands: It depends on the age and stage of the child and also whether he is going to be a boarder or a day pupil, but the most common concern is around friendships. Prospective parents (and pupils) can visit the school and see the wonderful setting, meet our incredible staff, learn about the great activities on offer, etc., all of which is very reassuring, but what can carry a degree of uncertainty until their son arrives is how he will fit in with the other pupils and forge new friendships. Thankfully, however, one of the great benefits of being a small, community-focused school is that friendships are formed quickly, and often last a lifetime.  

For some boarding parents, there can also be an understandable anxiety about their child being away from home, and in some cases, this can be greater than the anxiety being felt by the child! This is in no way out of the ordinary, and the school recognises our responsibility to support the parents through the transition as well as the pupil. 

For students who are particularly anxious about leaving their existing friends and meeting new people – how can parents help to manage these concerns and stresses?

Mr Rowlands: The best advice is to talk about it. Concerns which are not properly discussed invariably get magnified. Parents should ask their children what they are most worried about, and this should again be communicated with the school so that fears can be laid to rest. Equally, children need the reassurance of knowing that they will have access to things which they enjoy, so focusing on the things they are excited about is equally important. Finally, it is vital to emphasise that this is an exciting new chapter, but that existing friends can continue to be an important part of their life. 

What can parents do to facilitate the transition from one school to another?

Mr Rowlands: Parents should make sure that they have read all of the information provided by the school really carefully. There is nothing more unsettling for a new pupil than arriving at the wrong time or with the wrong things. Parents should also have had plenty of direct communication with their son’s new House Parent prior to joining, as this will mean that much of the necessary information will have been shared before the first day and also that a conversation can be picked up quickly in the event that further support is needed. And finally, parents should remember that every individual is different.  At Merchiston, we don’t expect a single model to work for all pupils. The school will be able to offer advice on an individual basis and parents should remember that, even in cases where this may seem a little counter-intuitive (perhaps not having contact with their son for a day in cases where he is experiencing some homesickness, for example), it will be offered in the best interests of their child. 

In some cases, students need to move to a new school mid-year. What challenges does this pose and how can families overcome them?

Mr Rowlands: Mid-year moves can be particularly daunting. Firstly, there can be concern about being the only new pupil rather than part of a group of joiners. And secondly, there can be a concern about academic disruption and how the teaching in one school will translate across into another. However, mid-year moves are increasingly common and all the same support structures exist. Pupils and families should be reassured that this is a tried and tested route. For some pupils, the transition can even be easier because they are immersed straight away into a normal term-time routine. As for the academic concerns, the school can accommodate pupils from a variety of educational backgrounds and has done so with great success in the past.

How does Merchiston help boys in the lead up to joining, and then following their admission?

Mr Rowlands: Parents and pupils will be provided with access to lots of information prior to joining Merchiston. This will include access to the Tooled Up Education platform, which contains extensive advice on dealing positively with significant transitions. 

However, there is no substitute for visiting the school, seeing your new House, meeting your new House Parent, and having the chance to see where you will be staying and ask lots of questions. In addition, new pupils will be set up with a ‘buddy’- someone in their peer group who will be able to answer any questions from a pupil perspective prior to a new student’s arrival. 

This buddy will remain with a new pupil over the course of their first term or so, and a full induction will be offered, ensuring that everyone knows where things are, how things work, and who is who. 

What is your advice for boys – and parents – who are joining a new school?

Mr Rowlands: Focus on the excitement of the new opportunities and not the fear of leaving things and people behind. Understand that a degree of anxiety is normal, but also remember that every pupil in the school was new once. Ask lots of questions and lean on those who are there to support you.

Many thanks to Mr Rowlands for contributing to this blog.

Interested in seeing what Merchiston has to offer your son? Take a look at our admissions page to discover whether Merchiston is the right fit for your family